One of my favourite blogs is from Hobo Mama. On Sunday’s she pulls bits and pieces from other bloggers that she likes. She pulled the following tidbit and then responded to it and it caught my eye.

“Hiring Community” from Strocel.com:

“The reality is that I’m not going to magically become super-productive while two kids scale the back of the chair I’m trying to work in. If I want to get something done, I need help. And so I decided to hire some. We put an ad on Craigslist, and found Wonder Nanny. She comes two mornings a week and plays with my children while I work. …

In a different time, I would live in a multi-generational community, where I would trade childcare with other adults and have back-up when I needed it. Here and now, I don’t have that. So I have hired my ‘community’. I will admit, I feel sort of awkward. …

I do need the help, though. I’ll admit it. This is my life, working at home with two kids, and I am doing my best.”

 

From: Hobo Mama: Sunday Surf

Yes. It is so hard for attachment parents (particularly mothers) to let go of the idea that we can or should be our child’s only caregiver. I don’t think it’s even natural in the sense of historically normal. But when we don’t have volunteers handy, we have to pay for the privilege of giving our children more trusted adults to attach to and experience life with.

My Response to these posts:

After having my third child last September, I began to explore different options for heading back to work. I had been teaching grade five, full-time, for ten years. I was finally considering returning to work half-time. My husband is a shift worker, and with my every-other-day work schedule, we only needed care for about five days every month. I found a caregiver in our neighbourhood who came recommended from a friend. However, I wasn’t totally comfortable with this idea.

You see, I had been so spoiled and so blessed with our caregiver and friend who took care of my two older sons for about two and a half years before I had my third child. She was conscientious, flexible, reliable, and so loving. How could anyone compare to her? But she wasn’t going to be providing care anymore because, happily, she had her third child one month after I had our third son.

One night on the phone we were discussing the woes of working and worrying about who was going to look after our children. When I got off the phone, I mentioned the conversation to my husband. He very simply said, “Why don’t you and A both work part-time and swap daycare with each other?” I actually took a step backwards. Why hadn’t we thought of that?

So, my husband and I discussed the logistics of it for a few minutes and I promptly called her back to put the bug in her ear. It didn’t take long after planting this seed that we began to work out a plan to make this idea a reality.

So, I am working part-time, she is working part-time (and some additional time as a doula), her mom is filling in any extra days , we are not exchanging any money (sometimes the odd meal) and we are off and running. I am so happy that she is with my children. I never have to worry about their care. I know that they are loved and well cared for. I love looking after her children too. Her two youngest children are girls…….as the mother of three boys, there is finally some pink in my world (Sometimes I change one-year old M’s outfit just because I can)! We have the flexibilty to change days or drop-off and pick-up times. We have a little extra money in our already stretched bank accounts. But most of all we have piece of mind.

We can also call with any parenting issues or questions that we are having. When I am getting tense about working or unsure about a parenting issue, she reassures me. She’ll say, “This is why we are doing this…..” or “It takes a village…..” I am so lucky to have her in my life and the life of my children, especially because I don’t have any family near by. She is like a second mother to my children and for that I will be forever grateful.

It is truly amazing what we can and will do as mothers. I will always remember this arrangement with A. I will always remember how we made this work for the well being of our families. I will always remember the snuggles given and received. I will always remember the support that we gave to one another as mothers and wives.

If you are reading this, I love you A. My children love you. I thank God that you came into our lives. You will forever be in our hearts.

xo

Advertisements